by Ollie Madison (Teen Advice Online)

I know this may be hard to believe, but teachers aren't really bent on making you miserable and ruining your life (okay, so maybe a couple are :P). In fact a lot of teachers really want you to succeed, but more than just success in the classroom, they want you to be ready for success in living. I know it is easier to be upset and offended with the D grade on your paper by making them out to be horrible, conniving, evil people rather than acknowledging that maybe you should've followed the directions and worked harder, but you know in your heart what the truth is.

For myself, in middle school I liked to imagine all of my teachers huddled in the basement of the school with my homework spread across a table, big red markers in hand, cackling to each other as they plotted my demise. Maybe it was just my ego, because in truth they were sitting on their living room sofas, going through my paper and grading just as they did with the other papers.

All teachers are different, with different agendas and values and backgrounds, and I'll admit that there are some that are just absolutely terrible, but in life we are inevitably going to run into many more terrible people we don't get along with. The point is, that you've just got to cope with what you've got. This is a good skill to learn early in life, like, say high school. Your grades in high school can follow you around for the rest of your life, so it is worth swallowing your pride and making the effort to get along with your teachers.

That said, I have some tips for maintaining peaceful student-teacher relationships.

1. LEARN WHEN TO LET GO

So your teacher is being completely irrational. She is yelling at you for talking and you've been silent all period, and she won't listen when you try to explain. So.. stop trying to explain. You know she is being absurd, and there is nothing you can do about it. She is not going to be convinced, and most likely if you keep at it you are going to end up in the principal's office. Breathe, maybe ball up your hands into fists a couple of times, and let go. If the argument is about something that is important to you and your teacher is being ridiculous, make an appointment to talk with a vice principal or the principal. Remember, it is not your place to reprimand a teacher for behavior.

2. MAKE A PLAN

If you want to approach a teacher, or any other school staff member, about an issue or a claim please have something to back it up. If it really is important you might even want to outline what your basic scheme of attack is. Teachers will respond much more positively to a well-thought-out argument than just "I should've gotten an A on this project. "Surprise them with your incredible intellect and debate skills, and you will have a better chance of getting a result you can be satisfied with. Remember to be willing to compromise - things aren't always going to go your way.

3. COMMUNICATE

If you have a problem with the way a teacher is teaching, tell them. Don't just stay irritated and mutter to your friends, do something about it. You can't expect your teacher to fix the problem if they don't know there is one. Now, when I say "tell them" I don't mean shout it at them in the middle of class: Do it after school, preferably when they are alone. Be polite, brief, and willing to listen. They may have a reason for being like that, they may not, but if you present your feelings respectfully and like an adult you can usually expect a positive result.

4. BE HONEST

Don't lie about your homework or anything else. Honesty is always the best policy, especially with teachers. Some teachers may be inclined to trust you the first few times and you take that as a go-ahead to start lying about everything, and it turns into a habit, but then WHAM! it all catches up with you. Remember, these people aren't your parents and while they may at some level want to see you succeed they have no personal investment in your well being. A loss of trust can do a lot of damage to your grade. Better to be honest and learn from your mistakes. You may find them more sympathetic to the truth than to your long sob stories. (;

And lastly, but most importantly...

5. BE POLITE

Yes, I know you know this. Yes, I know you've had this ground into you since the moment were born. But common courtesy can go a LONG way, especially with adults. Don't expect to be treated politely if you are not being polite. Teachers are humans too (well, most of them) and while you may not like them or agree with them, they deserve at least your civility. Simple things like "Please" and "Thank you" can get you a lot of points.

Good luck! (: Ollie